a different kind of savior
by ShinichiKudoOwnsMySoul
Summary: Haise Sasaki. Harry Potter. They are one in the same. What happens when Haise remembers that not only was he Kaneki Ken, he was also Harry Potter in another life, before it came to a tragic end? Unfortunately, their savior will be their downfall. He does not care for them anymore. Vague wizard bashing. Now more than a mere oneshot.
1. The ghoul on the hillside

**A/N:This is a bizarre story idea, but as you all know, I generate random ideas and then never finish them. This, hopefully, will not be that way. This is a story about Harry Potter being an anime character. You'll be seeing one shortly about him being a character from Tenchi Muyo. But this one seems the most engaging and interesting one. What's being continued? These crossover HP stories, the Pandora Hearts, Durarara, Magi, and Madoka crosses, and the Oc stories. Everything else is on a bit of a break. A life in shadows, Darkest Worlds and Fortitudine Vincimus are up for adoption for those who want them, take 'em.**

 **You see, I noticed that Harry is a lot like a certain character, after reading through all of Tokyo Ghoul Re last night, I noticed he's so much like a certain dude who attracts trouble all the time, nearly dies, and yet he lives on. So yup, another stupid reincarnation thing. And I think TG and HP take place a bit differently. Like TG takes place around our time, just a bit more futuristic. So Ghoul!Harry will be present, as well as some minor Dumbledore bashing, Weasley bashing and wizard bashing. You know the drill by now.**

 **I should pretty much be called the reincarnation and crossover writer up the ass. IF you've noticed, reincarnation has always been my big thing.**

 **The few original fiction ones I've read at my library have been terrible. I've read fanfiction that's better than actual fiction. My writing teacher thinks fanfiction is not real fiction, so as a big fuck you to her, I'm writing this up and publishing it, anyway! Ha ha, you try telling that to the author of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, try telling that to the Fifty Shades of Grey author! Nothing is original, oh-mighty-I-know-everything teacher, everything's been done before.**

 **Geez. So, on to the story and ignoring closed-minded idiots.**

 **A few characters have been reborn, mainly the dead ones. For some reason, Snape is alive. IDK, I like the idea of him messing with Ghoul Harry/Sasaki Haise. :d**

 **Chapter One: Tell me, tell me, exactly who am I?**

* * *

From a young age, Harry Potter always had been a kind person, despite the whole world despising him for being who he was. The Dursleys hated him for being a wizard, yet he didn't care about that, he still did the chores at their house, still did the hard work, because he did not care. He did not need to prove himself to people like them. He just always had this standard of practicing what he preached.

What could be said about Harry James Potter? He protected people above all else, he loved protecting them. That was all that he cared about.

That was the only thought on his mind as he watched students being tortured. He watched children screaming for their parents, even the Slytherin children were being tortured.

His eyes met Draco's. For a second, there was an unknown emotion in his eyes. What was it? Pity? Hatred, he didn't know.

Malfoy came up to Harry.

"Potter," He said, "It's your turn to die, you know?"

Harry laughed bitterly. "Yeah, death is pretty much my closest friend."

Upon seeing the odd look Draco was giving him, Harry laughed it off.

"It's nothing." He said, a smile on his face. It was in that moment that Draco would later think that Harry Potter knew he was going to die, yet was content. Why?

Harry was all too prepared for the end.

"What's this?" Voldemort sneered. "You've come without a weapon."

"I'm ready to die," Harry said. Upon seeing Voldemort look confused, he continued. "I'm just a worthless savior. I don't deserve to have anything. Someone like me can do nothing but live off of others. I'm prepared to die."

"Aren't you going to fight, Potter?"

Upon seeing the tears streaming out of Potter's eyes, he shook his head. "Such weakness. You are all too human, Potter. Foolish."

"I've always been foolish, but Hogwarts is my home and I'll defend it to the end." Harry charged at Voldemort.

"Avada Kedavra," Voldemort said without much enthusiasm.

There was a flash of light and Harry fell to the ground, dead, lifeless, unmoving.

The screams and wails of Hogwarts students could be heard as Harry's body was brought back and declared dead. Oh, the Horcrux within tried to revive him, but it did not work. Harry Potter was no more. Or so they thought.

* * *

Fear, fear, fear, fear. It's there, it's there, it's there, it's there.

He is locked away somewhere, he cannot get out. He could not escape, he could not escape, he could not.

The words that escape his mouth are not Japanese. He can't understand them.

He has no idea where he is or what's going on.

A silhouette grabs him from behind, punches him hard and knocks him to the ground.

It's a fat boy, one he has never seen before.

The boy has a look of hostility in his eyes.

He wonders why this is, but finds no answers. His stomach growls. He is hungry, he is oh so very hungry. Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry.

"You look delicious," He says before turning on the boy, who looks scared as his eye turns black with a red iris in the middle, and strange-looking tentacles sprout from his back. "I want to eat you."

He opens up his mouth and oh, blood, blood, blood. So much red fills his mouth, it's wonderful-it's revolting. I am a human-I am a wizard, why would I do such a horrible thing? I am a human, I am a wizard, I am a monster, I am a monster, monster.

Ghoul, ghoul, ghoul.

A scream can be heard.

He turns, another sound.

A woman standing there, she barely has time to react before he has eaten her, too. She tasted disgusting. He wipes his face and sighs. "Blood is unsanitary, especially from such disgusting people."

Suddenly, his scenery is shifting.

He sees a woman falling to the ground, dead. Who is that, and why should he care?

A faceless man with red eyes.

Thinking fast, he lunges with his kagune at the man...but then a voice interrupts.

"Sassan..."

At that second, the boy goes flying off the bed, having been punched in the face by the other, sending him on the ground.

"Sassan, what was that for?" The other boy cries.

A pair of grey eyes blink a few times, examining his surroundings before he smiles, nervously.

"You're not acting like yourself today."

"I am myself," Haise Sasaki says, running a hand through his whitish-black hair. His hair has always been black, right?

"You always have extraordinarily bad luck, Sassan," His friends say.

Haise knows this. He knows that something is wrong with this situation, wrong, wrong.

Sometimes, he swears there's magic in the world.

But that's wrong, this isn't that kind of world. You either live-or you die, there's no inbetween.

Haise Sasaki is not like normal people. Haise Sasaki is a ghoul. He was a human named Kaneki Ken. Before that, he was a human named Harry Potter. Harry Potter, Kaneki Ken, Haise Sasaki. They are all names for the same person.

The only person who even knows that Harry Potter is reincarnated is Haise Sasaki himself. Not that he remembers.

If Haise wants to remember, he will.

He is living in a fairy tale world right now.


	2. Perchance to dream

**A/n:OMG 70 follows! You guys are wonderful. Hands all of you hugs. I'll be updating this fanfic today. I have college hanging down on me. So now third day of classes begins. :d I've a 90 on my first class assignment. So I'm gonna try my best.**

 **Chapter 2 Kaneki; (precious prongslet?)**

* * *

He can hear it. He can hear it, as clear as day.

A woman is crying, loudly. He wonders why she's crying.

She's down on her hands and knees, long hair (is it red, is it dark?), moaning, sobbing, screaming something-in a language that he does not know or decipher, yet his mind screams at him that he must remember it.

He must.

"No, no, please, do not do this!"

He tilts his head. He does not understand. Who on earth is she and why is she screaming at him?

He reaches out to her. It is his mother-mother, mother, mother!

Then she strikes him, hard, throws him backward.

"It's all your fault! You caused all of this, it's your fault my sister hates me! It's all your fault!"

All his fault.

All his fault.

He's always had an aunt who hates him and a horrible family. Hasn't he?

He can recall a (cage, closet, prison?) of some sort, in which he lay, he could not breathe, he could not do anything. He remembers some more of it now.

He sees a little dark-haired boy sobbing.

"Who are you, mister?" The little boy asks.

"I'm Sasaki Haise! And you are?" Haise says.

The little boy smiles widely, almost wickedly, as gray eyes turn red, with a black sclera in the middle. "I'm someone you know very well! Everyone you know dies! I'm Kaneki!"

Sasaki doesn't know what to say to that. "I've never heard of this Kaneki before..." He mutters.

The little boy looks at him in shock. "You must know who you are. You're a mere Muggle-you're more than that, you're a ghoul and you can't even do anything!"

Sasaki smiled. He knows he's useless.

He's always known.

Ever since the day he was _- ** _left alone on a doorstep-abused by his relatives-until one day, a big centipede came and ate them up, one by one by one._ **_

Sasaki looks around. The black-haired boy...his name was...Kan-something, is gone.

Suddenly, he can't breathe.

A soulless figure drifts toward the ghoul, extending a bony arm out to him as it sucks in a breath and then images shoot through his mind, many, many images:

 _ **Rize-san lying, crushed, beneath the steel beams, Rize taunting him as she bites him; him being a ghoul; Nishiki nearly killing him, Hide nearly dying, Tsukiyama nearly killing him, smell of blood, smell of humans, smell of meat, smell of death, everywhere. Ms. Fueguchi getting her head cut off; (it's not the first time a woman has died before his eyes, pleading to spare their child), people pleading to die for him, his nails being shorn off, him being tortured painfully, Hide telling him they could go home, the taste of blood in his mouth-**_

 _"Not H-please, don't! Take anyone but him!" A young woman, screaming, trying to protect her baby, yet winding up dead. A young boy, crying as bruises hit his face and he nearly dies. Face to face with a giant serpent. A sickly-looking white infant of sorts, firing a spell at a young boy, who drops dead. A man falling to places only imagined. A white-haired devil destroyed._

 _"You have your mother's eyes..."_

 _Was his mother a ghoul? How could he possibly have her eyes when his own mother hated (loved?) his existence, enough to beat him to death (or take a spell meant for him)?_

Sasaki can't breathe anymore. He can't see anything, everything is just drowning in the blackness of death.

"Sassan, are you all right?"

He wakes, again.

"Sorry, guys, did I fall asleep again?" He asks.

"What were you dreaming of? Manga?" Saiko asks, looking eagerly at him.

"I was dreaming of..." He pauses, "...Emptiness! Of nothing in particular!"

Everyone looks at him as though they can't believe him.

"Sassan," Urie begins, "You were screaming and crying in your sleep. You expect us to believe it's nothing?"

"What are you talking about? I'm not crying-"

Why are his cheeks wet? He is crying.

But why?

He is crying.

He is happy.

He is alive.

He is Sasaki Haise, hunting ghouls.

It's not like he's trapped in an illusion. In a false life, right?

Right?

He pauses, looks at everyone, and then nods. "I think...I'll talk to Arima-sensei about it."

Dr. Arima is an unusual person to Haise. Haise trusts him greatly, he's a great man who's accomplished so much in such a short time ( **yet you can't help but feel like he's stomped on all sorts of humans and ghouls to do so, right?)- he's nothing but a cruel person, don't listen to him, Sasaki!**

Arima has that look that makes it feel like he can see right through that person. He seems to know everything about Haise, even though Haise knows next to nothing about him. He knows there's something wrong with the man, but tries his best to learn from him.

The other wants to get out, he can feel him tackling him, pounding against his skull.

"Sasaki, was there a reason you wanted to see me?" Arima says icily.

"I was just wondering...if magic exists," Sasaki asks, wondering why he'd ask such a stupid question. Magic only existed on movies, tv shows and in manga, the kind that Saiko loves devouring while Tooru will shyly read them, the boy being far too detached to be in them.

Arima flashes him a curious stare. "What makes you say this? Do you remember?"

"Remember...what?" Sasaki asks.

Arima laughs. "It's nothing, Sasaki. Magic is nothing but an illusion; a cruel disguise. Do not worry. I have heard of your nightmares. Perhaps you have seen too much being on the job all the time. Take a small break."

"But I-" Sasaki begins.

"No, you can have today off. Wander around, maybe do some more shopping for books." Arima says, it's almost like he's deliberately trying not to look at him.

For fear that his eyes might turn red, that his ghoul side will emerge. (a side he doesn't want to see)

Sasaki complies.

He wonders what Arima knows. He knows more than he can let on. Sasaki is aware that something is wrong with his life. But what could be?

The ghoul investigator has his nose in a book as he walks down the street, ignoring everyone else entirely. Somewhere, he thinks a young girl would be laughing, approving of his love of books. He's not sure where he got that idea.

 **Hinami, perhaps? Or Hermione-**

Sasaki ignores the other's presence, preferring to just continue down the street at a leisurely pace.

* * *

Until he collides with another person; his book falls to the ground.

"Oh, sorry about that! I'll help you!"

That voice. He knows that voice.

Sasaki looks up and into a pair of warm brown eyes.

Bright blond (red hair) that's spiky like the sun, warm, home.

The other boy is too focused on the book. "That's a cool book you've got there, you know-"

He pauses, as he takes in Sasaki; then his mouth falls open, he shoves the book back into Sasaki's arms with his left arm. It's then that he realizes the other has no right arm.

"...My god..." He mutters, coming closer to Sasaki.

"Pardon me? Is there something on my face?" Sasaki asks.

" _Kaneki._.." The other breathes, looking like he's seen a ghost.

Kaneki. Kaneki.

Not that name again.

His head starts throbbing, starts pounding.

"I'm sorry, I think you're mistaken. My name is Sasaki Haise."

"No, you're Kaneki, I'm sure of it!" The other male tugs at his shirt collar, looking at Sasaki with desperation in his eyes. "Don't you know who I am?"

Sasaki shakes his head. "No..."

"Admit it, man! We're best buds! Kaneki, please-"

"You're crazy, please, just let me go!"

The man's pleadings become louder and louder.

"You are causing a scene, I'll just be on my way now!" Sasaki yelps.

But the man grabs his arm. "Kaneki, please don't go! What _did they_ do to you, man? Come home with me!"

He's not going anywhere, dammit.

"For the last time," He growls, "My name is _not_ Kaneki!"

He shoves the boy away, and then Sasaki runs, runs into the sea of people, ignoring the boy's desperate shouts.

 **I should have eaten him back then. Hide was foolish.**

Sasaki puts his head in his hands. "Who am I...?" He moans.

Everything feels so unearthly, so wrong, so fake, that he just wants to scream.

 **Bold-Kaneki's memories/voice talkin** g.

 _Italic-Harry's memories_


	3. Chapter 3 No more hiding

A/N:Watching TG through the first season can really awaken those dormant feels! Seriously, since my muses have been going insane, it's time to satisfy them. And no, Harry Potter plays a small part in this story, Haise/Kaneki is not a wizard anymore, he's a ghoul. Frankly, it's mostly there for compare and contrast his present character with his past self. Too many times, Harry as someone else, they just conveniently accept bs and whatever.

Chapter 3 The tangles of fate

* * *

He wonders, sometimes. Who he really is, what he really is and what his role is in all of this.

Why did he have to be born here, all alone? Away from everything?

Away from all of his siblings?

If he lies awake at night, he can hear the moaning of his siblings (oh god, don't let them get Ginny, no, please, spare Percy, don't steal George away, too, you already have Fred and Harry, too-) and the screams and the moans...but that's nothing.

Nothing at all compared to the notion that his best friend now (a living and breathing one, Ron Weasley-no, Nagachika Hide) is in trouble and won't tell him. Why is Kaneki so stubborn, dammit? He wants to hit something; preferably himself. He wishes he had a wand now, but then he realizes no, no he's just a simple Muggle now-without any magical ability whatsoever.

All he has going for him are his good senses-he's never failed on that regard.

Ghouls exist here, too, but by god is this new world he's been reborn in terrifying. Ghouls devour everyone and everything; they can look just like anyone and anything, they eat all humans, and the warnings-(how many fucking times did his new parents tell him just what to do in case a ghoul invaded their home?) The thing is, he already knows what it's like being on the run.

But even being back at Hogwarts seems like fucking fun compared to all of this madness-as he crawls through the sewer, knowing his best friend is a fucking ghoul. What did you land yourself in this time, Ro- _Hide Nagachika_? For a while, the name Hide felt bad, wrong. Like he was running away, hiding. And hiding is not something he is.

Oh, wait, he ran away from-them-before, he ran away from Ginny-his precious sister-before she became a lifeless corpse, thanks to that witch-stop, don't think about this now, you can save Kaneki from that life.

It is there as he finds the white-haired teen struggling to control himself-why didn't he realize this earlier? That fuck, not only is **Kaneki his home-but Harry is right here, has been here all along, as Kaneki**.

He wants to hit fate so hard. Why did fate have to treat Harry arguably more terribly here than anywhere else? At least Harry didn't have to be a ghoul, didn't have to be tortured so badly he lost his damned mind-ah, but then again he always has a bad reputation and terrible enemies. Nothing about that has changed.

When he looks at Kaneki Ken, he can barely see anything of Harry Potter. Kaneki is an entirely different existence. Kaneki is so naive and polite it hurts, it hurts-Harry was always so _defiant, it is so strange to see no backbone from him-until he realizes he's been beaten into submission by his mother._

Hide crawls over to his best friend, rolls up his shirt sleeve and turns to the insane white-haired teen.

"H-Hide...can't eat my best friend...no..."

God, how he wants to hug him so badly. But his best friend will eat his bloody arm off. God, it's been forever; he doesn't even remember how he sounded with a British accent. He's grown fond of this life.

"Come on, Kaneki...let's go home. First, you need to eat."

"B-But I...can't..."

He sighs. "Go ahead and eat. I can bear the pain."

The pain is unbearable and excruciating. But it's hurting far worse for Kaneki than it is for Hide, so if Hide wants his friend now to be happy-then hurting will do. Maybe now this will make up for all the times Ronald Weasley deserted and ditched Harry Potter.

'I never understood what you went through until now...' He whispers in his mind as he falls unconscious after having performed what could be considered the dumbest feat of all time. If Hermione had been here, she would have been yelling at him.

That is why, as the teen lies in his bed at home, he stares at the pictures of Haise Sasaki. He will bring Kaneki back home. It would be nice if Harry existed, but Harry doesn't exist anymore. There is just Kaneki. He's not going to cling to the past, he just wants Kaneki to be happy.

The scary thing about this life is-the adults are oh so useless. In this life, it's kill or be killed. Malfoy would've shit his pants if he had to deal with a ghoul, Hide muses as he observes the ghouls in Anteiku like Nishiki.

'It's just like being knocked unconscious by a giant knight or being attacked by mermaids. Only this time, there's no magic involved, just cruel reality, Nagachika. Just keep your eyes closed.'

How he misses his innocence.

Oh, well. He prefers his new self better.

Hide wishes he could time travel and punch his old self in the face every time he hurt his sister, made her cry.

Being an only child now stinks. It's why he reached out to Kaneki so much.

He got tired of calling for his brothers and sister only to receive no response.

Now he knows how Harry felt.

Ronald Weasley was a prat. Hide is determined to not be a prat.

And hey, sometimes he screws up. He's not perfect.

But he'll be damned if he can't save Haise Sasaki from the CCG, from Aogiri, from anyone hurting him. Haise is strong. But he's not on the inside.

* * *

Haise wonders exactly why he felt like crying after meeting that boy with the spiky blond hair.

And then, when he runs into that boy with spiky hair during that mission and he whispers that name, "Kaneki..."

Everything comes to a crashing halt.

"Nishio-senpai...?" He whispers.

His mind claws for answers, trying to process truth and lie, fact and fantasy, whimsy and reality.

'I'm Haise Sasaki-'

'Arima is my mentor, Akira is my mother-'

He screams, he falls to the ground, he can hear Shirazu, Mutsuki coming near him, the young male shaking him, asking if he's okay-but he can't respond right now.

The memories come back so fast-memories of a mother, loving and kind, then cruel and vicious, then Hide-Hide, Hide, then Rize, ghoul, Anteiku, Touka, Hinami, Ryouko-san, Doves, Ayato, Aogiri, Nishio, Tsukiyama, Mr. Yoshimura, Eto, Hide, blood in his mouth, and...blackness.

He stares up at his friends, his vision swimming before he loses consciousness.

"You had a breakdown," Arima states, though it sounds less like he's concerned and more like he's worried he'll lose face.

When did Kaneki mock the man he looked up to so much?

Kaneki...? His name is Haise. Why is he calling himself Kaneki?

"I'm sorry, I got light-headed when I ran across a ghoul, and..." He muttered, scratching his chin.

"You've returned, haven't you?" Arima spoke.

Haise felt his blood grow cold, staring over at Arima. "What are you talking about, Arima-san? I'd never-"

"You weren't supposed to remember anything, Kaneki Ken. Why did you wake up from the lie?" Arima said sharply, staring at Kaneki with not love or fondness, but a cold, piercing stare, like an experiment.

He's always seen him as an experiment. That's why he doted on him, that's why he trained him, like a pig for the slaughter-for some reason, he pictures an old man with long flowing white hair and a beard, of all oddities.

"You messed with my life." He growls, hitting the ground.

"You would have been dead if it wasn't for me." Arima says, like he's oh so sure of himself.

Where has he heard that line before?

He doesn't cry, he doesn't scream, he simply punches the desk with his fist.

"I'm not human. How could you keep that from me?"

Arima again states smugly, "Oh please, Sasaki. Don't amuse yourself. This was merely a little test I did for a while. And then all testing subjects need to be removed, especially ghouls. You were just a pet for a while."

Kaneki feels his insides drop but nonetheless he bows, agreeing to keep up the facade for as long as 'honorable' Arima wants him to.

"Sassan!" Mutsuki cries, coming toward him, his eyes bright and happy.

His eyes scour over him. Ah, yes, he knows Mutsuki might be a little -different- from other guys, but why should that matter? At least Mutsuki can be who he really is and not have to wear a facade. Oh no, wait. The two of them are very alike.

Mutsuki has had to live a lie his whole life, too.

Kaneki gives him a sympathetic smile. "I'm fine. Just a little out of it today." It's amazing how well he can lie to his-no, to Sasaki's friends.

How could he have fallen for such an illusory dream so easily?

Was everything Ayato, Tsukiyama, Nishio and the others taught him nothing but a mere dream to be tossed away?

Saiko was a mere replacement for Touka, Mutsuki was rather like himself before he'd lost his innocence. No, Touka-chan should be here, Hinami-chan, too, and Nishio-senpai fighting with Touka-chan while Tsukiyama-san sings some French melody only he knows the words to and-

He is crying again.

"Sassan? Why won't you tell me what's bothering you?" Saiko asks, sounding very troubled, indeed.

"I doubt you'd understand." Is his firm reply. He needs to be alone.

Just like he's always been.

He's the Ghoul who destroys things.


	4. Chapter 4 His plastic soul of a ghoul

**A/N: Yes, before you ask, that is a reference to the song "Memories as Heavy as A Stone," mainly because Kaneki's memories have come back. And he's not the only one with memories of being someone else coming back. Hermione should be making her appearance in this story. Let me clarify this: not all of the HP characters have been reincarnated. A certain amount have been, (like Snape, Kaneki, etc) but others have not been. While Ron's family did die, some of them will not be appearing (simply because there are too many of them and Hide mentioned being an only child), so yeah, expect to see some of the characters here. Not all of them, though.**

 **Btw, some assholes at my workplace are so convinced that my wearing headphones is such a 'danger' to my safety. Fucking assholes. Tomorrow, hopefully they'll just let me wear damned headphones and shut their yaps. Ignorant fucks they are towards someone with Sensory Processing Disorder.**

 **So, let's have a guess as to who each character could be? Whoever guesses it right will have a cookie and or a response to the poll at the end!**

 **Kaneki=Harry**

 **Hide=Ron**

 **Arima=Dumbledore?**

 **Hinami=?**

 **Touka=?**

 **Yoriko=?**

 **Rize=?**

 **Tsukiyama=?**

 **Eto=?**

 **Ayato=?**

 **Mado=Ariana Dumbledore**

 **Amon=?**

 **Chapter 4 Memories as heavy as a rock**

* * *

 _They were throwing things at her. Heavy, pelting stones like rain that threw down upon her, as if the sky itself hated her and wanted her to suffer._

 _No, someone save her from this!_

 _Where was her mommy, where was her daddy to save her from this?_

 _She let out a scream, but no sound could be heard._

 _"Let's get the freak," The boys said wickedly, as they pelted her with blows._

 _"N-No...DADDYYY! HELP ME!" She screamed._

 _Her father came rushing down in a blind fury, as he struck at them. Then he clutched her in his arms._

 _"It's okay, Daddy's here to protect you..."_

 _Then darkness fell..._

 _"Brother, no!"_

 _She didn't want her brother or his friend to be fighting. Then a flash of light-and all went black for her._

* * *

Akira Mado shot up in bed, sweat dripping down her face. "What was that about?" She panted. "That dream...I haven't had it since I was five years old. What's happening?"

She had heard of Haise's strange behavior and it troubled her.

"That poor boy. Once he realizes what he is," She whispered, "We might have to...kill him. And I don't want to do that."

'Not whenever you've gone through it before...' A voice whispered.

Mado Akira, or rather, Ariana Dumbledore, did not care about her past life. She merely did what she had to do. For the sake of Arima, for the sake of the CCG...if Haise Sasaki had to be eliminated, then he had to be. Orders were orders, after all.

In the end, the Wizarding World and the human world are not so different after all.

Both of them have good and bad people.

Mado Akira was a good person. A good person with her heart in the right place.

Unfortunately, it seemed like she had let her guard down and her heart when she had allowed a dangerous ghoul like Kaneki Ken to come in, amnesiac. Seeing the boy like that broke her heart. It was like seeing-herself in a past life, broken, amnesiac and unable to do anything.

Seeing the look of delight on the young man's face when he called her mother...it made her so happy. And yet...she shook, unwilling to do it.

She couldn't.

She'd remembered what Arima had told her: if he regains his memories of who he really is, he must die. And yet-

A hand touched her shoulder and she nearly jumped.

It was Sasaki, looking at her with curious eyes.

"Okaasan, what are you doing?" He asked, looking at her with those same, innocent eyes.

'No, don't you dare act like a human being! You're not human...you're not!' She struggled inside her mind.

"Mado-senpai, may I ask why you're pointing a gun at me?" He asked, his voice still, not innocent. His grey eyes were full of iciness as he stared her down. This was not Haise Sasaki.

 _"Who are you_?" She demanded.

He laughed. "Mado-senpai, you want to kill me, right? You knew what I was this whole time! Why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me live a lie?"

She stopped as Haise started shedding tears, her fingers shaking on the trigger.

She should be able to shoot this ghoul down.

He was a mere ghoul.

He had been from the moment he'd joined this place.

So why?

Why? Why? Why? Why couldn't she do it?

Why couldn't she just _bloody_ kill him?

"I-" She began, but stopped. Her lips wouldn't speak.

He continued sobbing. "I was living such a wonderful dream, why did you have to ruin it? Why couldn't you just let me continue pretending?"* He screamed.

She dropped the gun on the floor and allowed him to embrace her.

For once, she felt like a motherly figure...for some reason, this felt like she was atoning...for something. But what?

He was a ghoul. No matter how human his tears were.

His eyes were red as he looked up at her.

"I just wanted to be human again, be normal! Before I had everything! You guys lied to me! I don't know who I am anymore!" He moaned.

She ran her hands through his hair softly.

"Sasaki-san...no, should I say, Kaneki-san." Her voice was firm as she pushed him aside, looking at him with both rejection and sadness in her eyes.

"How did you know it was me?" He said, wiping his tears away before smirking.

"Your tears are genuine, but you are still just a mere ghoul. Yet you claim to be as human as us. Ghouls killed my father, you know." She said icily, "I do care about you."

"Yet you pointed a gun at me. Take aim and try to kill me. I'm the guy who somehow lives through everything. If I survived being tortured by Jason, nothing can kill me." He laughed. He was utterly broken, she knew that.

She picked up the gun and aimed it at him.

"Fire at me! Fire at me, Mado Akira! You've been faking affection for me this whole time! Why don't you do it?" Kaneki taunted, his eyes bright red. "That's right, this one before you is a ghoul, your enemy!"

She closed her eyes tight.

Yes, she had to avenge her father.

She had to do it...yet.

She raised the gun higher.

And...she pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

Confused, she tried again.

The gun wasn't even loaded.

"No..." She whispered, "How can this be?"

Kaneki looked at her in surprise. "Don't tell me you feel pity for me."

She dropped the gun to the side. "I can't do it. I can't kill you." She whispered. "I knew, you know? That you-you and your ghoul friends-killed my father. Yet I, can't do it!"

Kaneki's mouth fell open, slack-jawed. He could recall something like this before.

Yes, something like this happening before.

 **A dark-haired girl saying, "Even though you watched C- die, you were still brave, H-r-y, so please live on.'**

He paused, his irises returning to normal as he watched her fall to her knees.

"I've failed my mission. My mission was to watch over you and kill you. I've failed, so kill me, ghoul! Kill me!"

Kaneki looked at her, then shook his head. "No. I will not."

"What?" Mado muttered, looking at him with shocked eyes.

"Despite my memories being fake, the feelings here are genuine, Mado-san." He muttered, "And I'm truly sorry about your father. But he killed someone close to me. I can't say I understand who he was to you. But we've both lost someone dear to us. I want-to kill you, too, yet for some reason, I can't."

She looked at him, really looked at him.

All she saw was a broken, lost lonely boy.

Not just a ghoul.

Also a human.

An impossible picture.

An amusing contradiction.

She stood back up, only to feel a hand on her shoulder.

It was Arima.

"That was an amusing interchange, Kaneki." He muttered, "It seems you still don't wish to hurt us. Isn't the CCG your enemy now?"

Kaneki looked at the ground. "I don't trust you. I never have. But, my friends are still my friends." He whispered.

"Naive thinking will get you nowhere, Kaneki-kun. You realize all of this is going to change. You can no longer pretend to be the innocent man that Sasaki was."

"Sasaki _is_ inside me. Even if I'm not him," Kaneki said sharply. "I won't give up so easily. I'm not just a ghoul, I'm human."

"Is that so?" Arima chuckled. "I like that spirit about you. You've changed since the last time, kid. Before you were such a brat."

Kaneki looked at him in confusion before watching Arima walk away, supporting Akira.

It was obvious that he would need to talk to his 'friends' about this.

What about Hinami-chan and Touka-chan? And Hide.

My god, Hide...

Kaneki sank to his knees in a chair, wondering where his life had gone so wrong.

'That's right...it started with Rize-san.'

 _Everything always headed back to her._

* * *

Arima was ever so surprised by Kaneki Ken. When first here, the ghoul had been ridiculously hard to maintain. But now, as Haise Sasaki, he was easy to manipulate.

Arima hadn't noticed at first...but memories started coming back to him. He'd remembered how he'd easily toyed with a young boy, just as innocent as this one.

He'd broken him. He'd allowed him to suffer.

Arima both loved and hated that about himself.

But Kaneki Ken was a ghoul.

Even if he had been that same, cheerful boy in the past, Harry Potter-was now a monster.

"To think I used to be in charge of whiny brats." He chuckled, pushing his glasses up. "I could never do that now. I've got too much of a heart, but too little of a soul for that."

'Even now, you're still entertaining and a fun pawn to use.' He thought.

So, if Harry was Kaneki...then, where was Severus Snape?

Too bad that loyal agent of his was gone.

* * *

A dark-haired male sat outside with a girl dressed in all pink.

"I'd say he's recovered his memories, Eto." He whispered.

"Indeed he has! Now the fun can begin!" Eto chirped, "Are you still going to hurt him like you did before?"

Ayato blinked in confusion. "I don't know what you mean. But if you mean I'm going to let Eyepatch die, then no. Otherwise, that idiotic sister of mine would cry her eyes out."

And he really, _really_ hated to see girls cry.

He turned, looking up at the night sky.

He had failed Touka before. And more girls before that.

But he wasn't going to fail. Not this time.

"Sasaki-senpai?" Tooru asked.

Kaneki looked up at them all. "There's something you all should know about me." He said, looking up at them with finality in his eyes.

Now or never.

* **-Reference to quote that Baby Doll makes in Batman the Animated Series, "Why couldn't you just let me make believe?"**


	5. Chapter 5 White Rabbit

A/N: Guess who got some ideas? I did. This time, two people will be revealed. One that has been hinted at, but not outright revealed until this one. Sorry for being slow with updates, other fics, school and my reviews have interfered with my schedule.

Some ideas got triggered in my head thanks to that fucking amazing Naruto OC fic i just read and favorited and loved.

Chapter 5 Rabbit

* * *

From a young age, she had always been...different. Unpredictable. Fiery.

She had always been herself, and to hell with the world and what they think. Maybe that was why her brother got mad at her and would tell her, "Quit being such a dumbass!"

He also thought she was useless, too.

For a while, she was an only child, with a father. A loving, kind caring father.

Then she learned what she was.

"I'm human, right, Daddy?" She asked one day.

Her father had looked at her before he'd gone out to get her something. It was something...red. It was blood. It was...a foot. A foot from a human.

"You are not human," He said, "You are...a ghoul, now eat this, Touka." He urged.

And she, willing to please her father, had done so, but at the same time, while she enjoyed this meal (oh my gosh, the blood, the hands, the blood, it tastes so good, the skin...so good, good, good), another part of her was screaming about how killing was wrong and she shouldn't do it.

This is all so wrong, so wrong. Disgusting.

She had just done what her daddy wanted her to.

She was so fucking hungry, and every time she tried to eat other food, she would just throw up.

"Touka, dear," He told her, "This is the only food you can eat."

"I refuse to eat other humans!" She snapped.

That voice of her stilled, and she listened to her father, after all you always listened to what your father said, right?

"Touka, humans are the enemies of ghouls. They hunt them, they eliminate them, they destroy them. They might kill me one day, or your brother." He said, pointing at the little toddler.

For some reason, she feels like she should be the younger rather than the older sibling, but she doesn't protest. She does as her father asks, because after all, he is her father. She had to listen to him, right?

She dreams, she dreams, and when she does, she is flying, she is doing impossible things, dressed in odd outfits and fighting people with odd flashing objects.

There's a boy.

A boy with dark hair and green eyes that haunts her dreams and makes her feel so confused that when she wakes up, the little girl is very, very annoyed. So much so that she accidentally activates her kagune in anger.

This causes Ayato to call her a weirdo.

She responds by punching him. The two of them like fighting each other a lot. This is normal sibling behavior, right? Right?

Right?

This is totally normal behavior.

All siblings fight with each other. This is just how it goes.

There is nothing different about this, she thinks, other than the sweet, juicy delicious taste of the flesh that enters her mouth.

Then one day, her father disappears.

He's been devoured, swallowed by a snake, bitten, eliminated by the CCG, the group she'd heard of only in whispers as "Doves." When she pictures the doves, she pictures cruel, disgusting monsters, swooping down on her, stealing her happiness away, almost like ghosts, attacking her, controlling her mind.

"You hear that? Dad's gone!" Ayato yells, "That means it's just you and I now! Yet you still associate with humans...why?"

"Because, humans...humans are..."

 _Humans are monsters...cruel, disgusting, savage._

"Because humans are...like shit."

He smiles. "I knew you'd say that, Onee-san. You're not a stupid weakling after all."

She shoves him. He shoves her back.

It's one of the first violent fights they have, and he becomes worse as he grows older.

'All boys are stupid, selfish and disgusting,' She thinks.

The one in her dreams is an idiot. He's stupid, he's naive, he does and says stupid stuff, he looks like a nerd, but he has a sense of warmth about him that she can't help but admire. But at the same time, he is a human. A human.

Gradually, the pity that she has for humans turns to hatred. Instead, it's bitterness she has when she thinks of other ghouls suffering. It's not their fault they were born this way. A part of her tells her this thinking is wrong, that speciesism is wrong, that she should appreciate humans, and that there's no such thing as purity, but she silences that.

She doesn't care.

Those idiotic humans will pay.

Then she meets Yoriko, who's different. Yoriko, who's not stupid like the rest of them. Yoriko, who's kind and understanding and oh-so-loving and-oh god, she actually likes a human? No way!

She doesn't understand why on earth she would disobey her father, why on earth would she suddenly like a human? It doesn't make any fucking sense. And for some reason, she notices that the girl has orange hair and it brings out a sense of nostalgia in her. A sense of nostalgia which she can't understand.

It pisses her off. She hates not understanding her own emotions.

Yoriko tells her one day she thinks she's anorexic, because she seems to have trouble eating the school lunch. Touka doesn't tell her the real reason why she can't eat their food.

But she asks what that is, and she explains it to her and Touka nodded and confirmed it, more afraid that she would be rejected by Yoriko, picturing the disgust, the fear on her face, how she would call the CCG on her ass and get her killed.

Imagine that, this nice, sweet girl will probably call her a monster and then run away from her, leave her to die while someone controls her every movement. Like hell that would happen, she controls her own destiny.

She is after all, a fierce rabbit.

Years pass by, and she doesn't think about the dreams for a long time. Then, he comes in. That idiot.

* * *

Kaneki.

He's an idiot. He's thoughtless, he's stupid, he's kind, yet at the same time, he's so bigoted towards her kind that it pisses her off, acting like he's better than ghouls when he's one, too, so maybe he should shut his arrogant mouth and see how things actually work.

But a part of her is strangely nice to him and when he is in Anteiku, she finds herself thinking about how she misses his smiles, his calls of "Touka-chan", she gets angry, wondering how she could ever like someone like him.

Then whenever she sees him after everything that has happened, after him being tortured to near insanity, she realizes-he is broken. She'd hated him because she was innocent-like that boy.

But now, the look in his stormy gray eyes spoke nothing of the innocent boy she once knew and now it strikes her that with his white hair, he looks like a sad, wizened old man-why does that sound so familiar?

Someone who watches over others.

"Kaneki," She mutters, trying to reach out to him.

He turns to her, "I'm sorry, Touka-chan."

He smiles, then leaves.

Then he's back.

"How dare you come back here like this!" She screams.

She just feels tremendous regret after she knocks him to the ground.

And then she sees him again, as a member of the CCG, pretending he's human, pretending he's not a ghoul, it pisses her off. He either chooses one side or the other, yet she can't help but be fascinated by him, but she's not in love with him, she's not in love with him, dammit!

Yet, she is.

It's not like he is her savior or her hero or anything, somehow Touka Kirishima is in love with Kaneki Ken and she fucking hates it.

She also fucking hates those dreams of hers. They piss her off.

* * *

And then there was the utterly confusing person, that friend of Kaneki's-what was his name-the redhead. She didn't even remember his name!

He was so annoying and stupid and forgettable that it drove her nuts trying to deal with him. Especially the way in which he pried into other people's business!

Seriously.

Yet, there was an aura about him that made her suspicious and yet fascinated. It was a familiar feeling, like she knew him and yet didn't.

"Hey, Kaneki's really okay, isn't he?"

The way in which he was looking at her, it took her off guard. She stared at him for a couple of seconds.

"Hey, you. Have we met before?"

"Not that I'm aware of, unless of course, you're a cute girl."

"You're just annoying. Really, really annoying." She snaps, glaring at him viciously.

"You're very cute, you know." He says.

She doesn't understand why it strikes her as wrong that he's hitting on her, but she kinda ignores him.

Ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore!

It doesn't help.

Then, after everything happens and Haise appears, he is in the hospital and she is stuck looking after him. Oh, great.

The thing is, this Hide person...he never shuts the fuck up. He's always talking endlessly about Kaneki, about himself and it's annoying.

But somehow, she doesn't care.

"You're an idiot."

"I know I'm an idiot." He laughs, "But I did everything I could for Kaneki, because he deserves it. He deserves to be happy after everything he's gone through."

"He has been through a lot." She agreed.

"Do you love him?"

She flushes. "I don't love him! No fricking way!"

"It's so obvious, I can tell." Hide says, folding his arms, "You always look after him, you know. For some reason, I think with your hot temper, your hair should be red rather than purple."

"You're talking crazy," She snapped, "Red hair is stupid."

That's why, when she's busy working in the cafe...

"Excuse me."

It's him, Kaneki or as he calls himself now, Haise.

"Um, have we met before?" She asks.

"No, not that I'm aware of." She says coldly.

"But I was just wondering-"

"I'm afraid you haven't met me before." She says curtly, leaving a confused Haise behind.

But now...now she sees, him.

It's Kaneki.

He's walking down the street.

He looks utterly broken, again.

This wasn't Haise, the look in his eyes was that of Kaneki.

"Kaneki," She cries.

"Touka-chan, they...they...lied to me."

"I know."

"They were...using me."

"I know."

"I'm a ghoul."

"I know, don't say that shit out loud. You'll be killed." She scolds.

"But I-" He mutters. "I don't want to be a hero or anything. I just want to be happy."

He passes out then and then she realizes, he's bleeding. What the fuck did those CCG idiots do to him?

What. Did. They. Do. To. Him?

Suddenly, the anger is taking over, but she manages to hold it in enough until she goes home before unleashing her kagune on everything that's not Kaneki.

She doesn't know why she cares about this stupid idiot, but somehow she does.

* * *

Hide had to get a good laugh out of teasing Touka.

She was such an interesting person.

She reminded him a lot of Hermione, but not really.

If anything, he was reminded a lot of...but that couldn't be. No way in hell.

Whenever the realization hit him about who she could be, his eyes widened.

He suddenly realized..who else was so fiery and hot-headed?

Ginny? Was that _really Ginny?_

No fucking way. He must be insane.

"What are you staring at?" She snapped, blue eyes blazing in anger.

No way in hell could his sister be a _ghoul._

Not someone so fierce. But fierce, hadn't that always been Ginny? Hadn't she always been a fierce girl who'd stuck to what she believed no matter what?

"Ginny..." He muttered.

She turned to look at him. "What are you saying?"

"Nothing," He said cheerily.

"We don't serve alcohol here."

"I know. It's just I knew someone."

"Hey, Nagachika, talk sense, or else you're getting thrown out of here." She said, pointing at the exit to the cafe, "Humans aren't welcome here."

"That's not very nice. I'm here to look after him, after all." He pointed at the white-haired, black-haired young man, who was trying to recuperate. "Is he truly all right?"

"I don't think so. He still talks about going back there, but he remembers."

Hide shot up, looking at her. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, he remembers."

"What did they do to him?" He hisses.

"I don't know, but they're gonna pay for hurting him."

"You really do love him."

"Never said that." She slammed his cup of tea on the table he's seated at before storming away.

He can tell, despite Touka Kirishima being very hard to read, annoying and a jerk, he knows that deep down inside, she is or was his sister.

"Girls are scary." He mutters.

He wonders what Hermione would do if she heard him say that.

Though there is that quiet, bookworm girl...no way.

Like hell.

If anything, he would've thought Touka would've been Hermione...not his fucking sister. He felt like puking when he thought about how he'd tried to flirt with her, but this isn't the same world he'd grown up in.

They're strangers here.

He wasn't Ron Weasley anymore, he was Hide Nagachika and he had to accept that. She was no longer Ginny, but now Touka.

"You don't need to look after me." She snapped.

"I'm just a friend." Hide said.

"An annoying friend," She added.

He was just sorry that Ginny had to be a ghoul, but Touka was strong.

"Kirishima, it would be nice if you remembered that you can ask for help sometimes."

"Ha, don't go talking to me like that!" She snapped.

Kaneki's eyes opened in time to see Touka standing over him.

"Finally woke up, you idiot."

"Touka," He muttered, "I wanna talk about...Arima."

"What did he do?" She said icily.


End file.
